


Hornocruxes Part V - How Do I Tell Her?

by BadBoiReeRee



Series: The Hornocruxes - A Lord Voldemort Fanfic [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, F/M, Ferret Draco Malfoy, Guilty Pleasures, Naruto is Just Naruto, Not So Evil Voldemort (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:14:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24015043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadBoiReeRee/pseuds/BadBoiReeRee
Summary: Draco starts to develop feelings for Hermione. However, he must reconcile these after having wild horse-bird sex with Buckbeak.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Series: The Hornocruxes - A Lord Voldemort Fanfic [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1705240
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Hornocruxes Part V - How Do I Tell Her?

Entry #5

So Ron and Snape and Hagrid made a pact: They would work together to separate Dumbledore and Harry. That was the FINAL Hornocrux, the most dangerous of all. Each man had his own reasons; for Weasley, it was to consummate his love with Harry; for Snape, he didn't want to go bankrupt selling Dumbledore viagra-like drugs to help with his wizard hard-on; and for Hagrid... well, let's just say he wanted to spend _more time_ with Harry too.

During all of their conversing, Ron had forgotten about Draco, who was being saddled by Buckbeak, the "the horse-bird" from the third or fourth movie. Draco had never actually had sex before, and so this was the first time that his cherry was popped. His delicate clunge was unprepared for Buckbeaks massive corkscrew-shaped joust. The sex was brutal. Buckbeak was much MUCH heavier than one might have thought of a bird-horse thing. So it only took a few humps and whinnies for several of Draco's small vertebrae to snap. But luckily he was okay. Because Buckbeak tied a couple of dead ferrets around Draco's back for lumbar support...

Buckbeak was very pleased with his performance and afterwards treated Draco to two freshly deceased ferrets. Buckbeak stuffed them in Draco's mouth, and neighed in delight when the boys eyes watered in happiness.

It should be noted that Buckbeak is also what wizards call "a migratory horse-bird," meaning that, he comes and goes (in both senses) every spring and autumn in Hogwartsville. Often times, the hippogiffs gather in Jacksonville, Florida for mating season - Buckbeak decided to take Draco with him to the conglomeration.

So that was how Draco had spent his fifth-year spring and summer: in a feathery orgy. When he returned to Hogwarts for his sixth year, he worried about two things: killing Dumbledore and avoiding Buckbeak. However, something happened quite unexpectedly that he was unprepared for. He fell head over heals in love with _her._

Hermione stood in the hallway, her _curly,wavy, thick, full dark blonde, blue, silver-streaked brown hair, fur gently rippled in the breeze in the wiiiiinnnd._ She was holding fresh pieces of parchment in her soft, pastel-colored fingers, delicately fingering each slightly wet sheet... of paper. She was talking to Snape, who had repeatedly asked her to his house to watch Naruto and eat falafels. Draco felt the sudden urge to intervene.

Draco walked up to the pair as they turned to look at him.

Snape snarled, "what is it you want, Mr. Malfoy?

Without thinking, Draco put his hand over Hermione's shoulder.

_"Hey babe, who is this saaaaddd loaf?"_

Draco played it _cool._

Hermione winced and shoved Draco away. She then proceeded to punch him and Snape in the quaffles. 

"You are both so vulgar," Hermione said as she walked to the Room of Requirement, where Victor Krum hung by his wrists, naked and very much afraid.

_When will the TriWizard Tournament end?_ thought Victor Krum, Hermione's weekly source of sadistic pleasure.

;)


End file.
